The fact that we don’t know something, or don’t bother to ask questions in an attempt to understand things better, does that constitute anything more than laziness on our part? A symptom of an underlying complacency rather than a confrontation with an unfathomable mystery?
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/20/the-anosognosics-dilemma-1/?hp
I know nothing therefore I know? If everybody read this and took its message to heart, I had nothing left to complain about…
After my work/networkprofile was full again, the automated response from the network guys stated I should clear some crap. I ran into this one. Not sure where it’s from, but I can still relate to the bonus#..
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
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http://www.thealders.net/humour/work/wk44.html
“Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.”
“Who me? I just wander from room to room.”
And so on, you know, the kind of stuff people used to forward.
Today’s annoyance level:2/5 Sensei Sho annoyance factor:3/5
This was written in blood while a stressed out manager watched over my shoulders. He wasn’t watching me though; being trained in the mystical art of ninjutsu I can feel it when I’m being watched. He was spying on Sean on my right. The manager was still breathing heavily after a small sprint. He wasn’t the only one running around. Deadlines are approaching which results in speeding managers. Carrying big stacks of reports and asking the same things in five-minute intervals. I too should have been busy if both of my projects weren’t put on hold, much to the relief of the one manager who is now cowering in the toilet. But even if I were stressing I would definitely not be running around. With running around I mean actual sprinting. This takes me to the annoyance du jour: Stressed out managers who mindlessly sprint in the hallways.
Who’s running?
This office can be a highly stressful place. The team I’m part of, quality control, is responsible for the go or no-go. We’re like the inspectors of a giant shinobi army before it goes to war. The ones who are checking if everyone is standing in line, knocking on the hidden armour, see if the blades are sharpened. “What’s this? That’s ketchup senpai, I used my katana to make a sandwich”. Everybody is itching to go to war, but they can only do so when we raise the flag. This is where the manager comes in. I’m sharpening the spear of this hot shinobi girl. When *poof* out of a smoke screen a manager appears.
Aren’t pandas inefficient, piebald buffoons who are an evolutionary dead end? Yes. That is why there are fewer than 3000 (fewer than 1600?) in the world.Then how are pandas not extinct yet?Pandas are beloved, because they are ridiculously, scientifically cute. They aren’t just adorable freaky bears that bark in the bamboo forest. Their entire evolutionary strategy (by intelligent design!) was to sit on their thumbs and wait around until there were humans to love them and be responsible for them despite all of their inefficiencies and mysteries.
Everything you never wanted to know about panda’s and were too lazy too google or wikipedi yourself.
Today’s annoyance level: 2/5 Hygiene annoyance factor: 5/5
Sorry in advance about this one, but I can’t let it pass.
It was right after my lunch break when I felt my muscles starting to tighten. Meaning it was time for my daily toilet exercises. No not those muscles or exercises. There’s simply no room here for a good repeated-stress flex and stretch. So I thought let’s go to the disabled room where there’s enough space for proper office yoga.
Before I went in I remembered something. I didn’t think much of it then, but it was an omen allright. One time I entered the disabled room and I saw something which I thought would be traumatizing enough to be blocked from my memory. A suitcase was on the floor, someones hair neatly done, a red blazer folded on top of a pair of bare knees and of course a pair of pants all the way down. Blindly I walked into the stall whilst not noticing the red blazer. Hey who wouldn’t lock the door or at least check if it was locked when you hear someone else approach? You can’t sit there with your suitcase and jacket nicely folded and still forget to lock the door. Even after four times of checking if I really closed the door I check again. Also you don’t lower your pants all the way down to soak up the afterdrips of rushing programmer guys. Just before I wanted to unzip we locked eyes and he finally spoke, saying something which sounded like sorry with a hint of disapointment in it. Luckily we never met again…
Today’s annoyance level:1/5 Flirt annoyance factor:1/5
So there I was being cool. I had her attention even though the train was full. These retractable seats were the only places I could sit and still be in her line of sight. Most of these seats are broken so the moment you pull them down they stay down (like a toilet seat). Unfortunately I chose the one that was still in perfect working condition. I flipped the seat gave her a cool stare, yeah baby, it’s me you’re looking for. It was answered with a frown. Oh well, I still chose to sit down where she could check me out being cool. The moment I saw her shaking her head I hit the ground. It was one of those, it actually hurt too much to be funny moments. There is no cool way to cover up. When I tried to laugh it off she looked away and I felt like an ass as well the bruises on my butt. This was just on the way to work.
When I finally came in I noticed a post-it attached to my monitor “please call Paul”. Before I could even ask what a Paul was some guy with a blinding smile stood next to me. Hey how you doing? Ehm fine.. My name is Paul.. Hi Paul.. The guy had worked on this project for several years. Before today he never felt the need to introduce himself. Needless to say I was somewhat suspicious about his sudden interest in me. He started off about working on this and that, blinking heavily and making long eye contact. All the while I thought; is this guy coming on to me? As he walked out he even gave me an awkward wink. Seemingly loose parts of his face combined to form a painfull grimace. I had no idea of what just transpired neither did the guy sitting across me who also thought this was a rather odd way of interacting (quote). A couple of minutes later all would be clear as my next suitor appeared…
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Today’s annoyance level:4/5 Click Symphony annoyance factor:3/5
My work can be boring and leaves me with too much spare time. It’s these moments when you can either show some heart “we need this thing tested and approved right now! I’ll do it”, or you can just sit back and type stories. When typing it always looks as if you’re busy. However in my line of work it isn’t necessary to type a whole lot. Only the occasional e-mail or the short texts in cases and reports. But that’s it. Typing a whole lot should actually raise suspicion because this equals too much mailing, chatting or writing short stories. All you need to do to look busy is frown and at random moments just walk around a bit.
When I worked in a newsroom it was the other way around. Most people had to type to look busy. It was in this environment that I first noticed other people’s clicks and ticks. The office was open so a person standing on the first floor could talk to somebody on the third. One day, around an hour after lunch, I noticed an unusual sound. Obviously I had to drop everything to find out where it was coming from. Everybody was fighting their post lunch dip or had just snapped out of it. Productivity peaked and you could hear a wave of keyboard strokes going through the building. You could hear it catching on and increasing in amplitude. First the lower levels started ticking away, then a floor higher people started to type louder and finally it reached my floor and further.
I’m not sure what triggered me to remember this; after all I experienced this about 5 years ago. Even though I no longer work in a type-heavy environment I decided to listen anyway hoping for an overwhelming click wave…
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Everyday the Same Dream
When you’ve reached this point you might actually welcome a litle thing called karoshi.